Parents’ Happiness Through Their Children

Attraction and Resistance. Gentleness creates attraction. Harshness creates resistance. A mother, by her natural disposition, is often believed to possess greater emotional sensitivity than a father and to be more rational when making decisions. This perspective exists within society, including in family education. But is it truly correct? Let us examine it more deeply.

Two of the writer’s nieces, Aliyah and Azizah, had spoken freely with their father, Daeng Uttang, since childhood. They were raised to express their feelings, opinions, and freedom of thought openly. Their mother, Daeng Ida, was actually no different; she also encouraged dialogue about what her children wanted. However, behind that openness, she remained firm in teaching discipline and decisiveness. Was that harshness? No. It was firmness. Discipline indeed requires firmness. This became the main foundation for strengthening mental resilience from an early age—a preparation for navigating life’s winding paths.

As time passed, both children grew up. In the residential area where they lived in Makassar, Aliyah became a Qur’an recitation champion. Her beautiful voice also made her talented in singing.

“If Aliyah sings first, no one else’s voice sounds good afterward,” said Daeng Fatwa. “She has to sing last whenever there’s a family gathering,” continued that Daeng Uttang’s sister.

Aliyah’s talent did not stop there. Among the competitions and achievements the writer remembers are:

1. First Winner, Tourism Ambassador of Bulukumba
2. Runner-Up, Miss Indonesia Selection at the South Sulawesi Provincial Level
3. Runner-Up, Provincial Tourism Ambassador Selection in South Sulawesi
4. Runner-Up, Open Karate Tournament held in Bone Regency
5. Winning multiple Taekwondo championships

Through the harmony between talent and hard work, opportunities in life opened widely for her, eventually leading to a banking career after graduating from Universitas Negeri Makassar.

“Why does winning seem so easy for Aliyah?” asked Daeng Fatma.

No one responded immediately.

“Perhaps because her parents are kind to others, and that kindness flows to their children,” she said based on her own observations.

“That makes sense too. Children have their own fortune already guaranteed by God,” the writer replied. “Daeng Fatma, as a pesantren graduate, surely knows the verses better—the original sources in the Qur’an. I only understand the Indonesian interpretations about the positive impact on those who are grateful and the consequences for those who turn away.”

The writer then added, “Why haven’t I become a great person yet? Perhaps because I am still not truly grateful, since I waste so much of my time.”

“That’s why you should wake up early regularly,” advised Daeng Fatma.

“I already wake up for dawn prayers,” the writer answered apologetically, trying to justify himself.

Meanwhile, Azizah was quieter by nature. She understood one extraordinary power: high discipline.

“With discipline, she had already become successful even before success attached itself to her,” the writer thought.

One day, there was a plan for a family gathering from her mother’s side. Azizah wanted to attend, but it coincided with her regular training schedule. Without hesitation, and with a confident expression, she chose her running practice instead.

“Daeng, this child will become great,” the writer said to Daeng Uttang and Daeng Ida.

They smiled happily, allowing Azizah to stand by her decision.

Azizah’s dream eventually came true—she became a soldier. Her acceptance into the Indonesian Navy was a recognition from the Government of Indonesia for her achievements in rowing at the ASEAN Games. Before that, she had already won two gold medals at the South Sulawesi Provincial Sports.

Being a soldier, a national athlete, and a university student at Makassar State University  at the same time is both a trust and a responsibility now resting on Azizah’s shoulders. It is not easy, especially because her beloved mother—who taught her firmness and discipline through countless sacrifices—has returned to the embrace of the Divine.

Azizah is not alone. Her older sister Aliyah and her father Daeng Uttang attended her inauguration ceremony as a member of the Indonesian Navy in Surabaya on Tuesday, May 13, 2026. It was a joyful moment, yet behind that happiness lay immeasurable sorrow because the mother who had struggled tirelessly to educate and raise her children to the point of success could not be there. Naturally, supporting one another became the best path for this small family.

Did Daeng Uttang and Daeng Ida combine attraction and resistance in raising their children?

“Father used to punish me often because I bullied Fatma or behaved badly,” said Daeng Uttang. “But it felt different when punishment came from an uncle or aunt. When parents punished me, I cried but quickly forgot. But if it came from relatives, I remembered it for a long time.”

That may be true. Perhaps resistance—what we call punishment in the form of harshness—can also become part of attraction when it teaches a person to discipline themselves. Does anyone understand this more deeply?

Zulkarnain Patwa
Bulukumba, Thursday, April 14, 2026